The Problem and the Solution

So I was a good high school sports booster this year and I bought a discount card for local businesses. One of the items on this card is a buy-one-get-one-free for Peanut Buster Parfaits (or is it ParFAT?). The only limit on it is that you can't do it more than once a day. Frankly, I'm sure you could really work it and hit the Astoria one once and the Warrenton one once also in the same day. But man, that's a LOT! So what's a flabby guy to do?


I think a lot of people get older and chubbier and they blame it on getting old. In my case, I'm taking responsibility for the reality that I don't eat as well as I used to and I don't exercise like I did either. But, back when I was working at the OHSU Fitness Center in dental school, I really liked the elliptical trainers. They're very low-impact and I find I get more of a workout than I think I am (like I'm surprised how toasted my legs are when I get done and try to walk around). So, I was browsing at Costco and this was the last one display model. They were willing to take it apart some, and I found online that Costco was asking half what it costs straight from the manufacturer, so I was sold. It didn't quite fit entirely into the back of the van, so I drove home with the liftgate bungied partway down. It was an absolute ordeal to get it upstairs, and my amazing neighbor Ben helped a lot! They say it can hold up to 350 pounds, and I don't doubt that it itself weighs about that much. Now Ben really really REALLY needs to have a midnight dental emergency so I can try and catch up. Anyway, we had to disassemble it more than what Costco did, and it was all I could do a couple days later to round up the parts Ben and I had hastily taken off and get it back together in a way that works.